HOUSTON, TX - JANUARY 09: J.J. Watt #99 of the Houston Texans waits in the tunnel before the start of their Wild Card game against the Kansas City Chiefs at NRG Stadium on January 9, 2016 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)

I would love to tell you that I am a calm person when watching football. Sadly, that is far from reality. I’ll admit, I’m the guy who drops F-Bombs, throws his cell phone, and generally makes people question my sanity.  My wife has actually established a rigid set of “Football Season” rules for me that I dare not break.  I am a football degenerate—hey, you try being a Philadelphia Eagles fan for life and see how your psyche holds up. And like you, I already have the itch for the upcoming 2017 NFL season for many reasons.

Top 5 Reasons to Be Excited About the 2017 NFL Season

The Return of Marshawn (Beast Mode) Lynch

You couldn’t make up a better story.  A lifetime fan of the Oakland Raiders returning to football after a season away and hearing they are moving to Las Vegas. (How in the hell the NFL allowed a team in Vegas is beyond me but that is another article) How can you not love this guy?  When he scores a touchdown Skittles rain down on him like a water in Flash Dance.  He uses phrases like, “I am all about that action boss” or as if he is stuck in repeat, “I am just here so I don’t get fined.” If this isn’t enough for you my man is a monster on the field, as in the “Beast Quake.”

Tom Brady At Forty Years of Age (and Gisele Bundchen)

Tom Brady is a machine that believes he can play for another 5 seasons. I am a believer as his two highest grades per PFF were age thirty-eight and age thirty-nine seasons. He has shown no signs of slowing down and they just surrounded him with a plethora of talent. (Yes, I know what a plethora is El Guapo)   This is more about my excitement of seeing Gisele Bundchen at every Patriots home game for another season and possibly five more.  Dude lives a sweet life with Gisele, millions of dollars, and 5 Super Bowl rings. #enviable

Christian McCaffery: The Unicorn of the Football World

Caucasian skill position players always get the same monikers.  That guy is a gym rat, a scrappy player, or a technician.  Rarely is the word athlete applied.  Enter Christian McCaffery. He ran a faster forty time than both Dalvin Cook and Leanoard Fournette and had the 10th best 3-cone drill time in the history of the combine.  He is tough to bring down between the tackles, has home run speed, amazing Le’Veon Bell style patience, soft hands, and is a great return man.  Hopefully he performs more on the level of John Riggins and not Peyton (I can’t play becasue my throat hurts) Hillis.

The Return of J.J. Watt

Three time defensive player of year J.J. Watt missed all but 3 games last season and in those he played at around 75% attempting to return from a back injury.  (In my opinion too quickly)  There are a few amazing pass rushers in the NFL that contribute against both the run and the pass such as Khalil Mack and Von Miller but none of them can alter a game like J.J. Watt.  Watt is an absolute man among boys on the football field and reminds me of an, in his prime, Reggie White.  He throws offensive lineman around, treats quarterbacks like rag dolls, and absolutely forces opposing offensive coordinators to adjust their game plans to account for him.  If Jadevion Clowney continues his ascension with Watt returning we could see something special from Houston this season.

Nelson Agholor No Longer Being a Starter for the Eagles

Nelson Agholor fulfills the very definition of the term “crap bird.”  Agholor ranks 115 out of 115 ranked wide receivers according to PFF.  This places him below game changing players such as Keith Mumphery, Charone Peake, and Cobi Hamilton.  Get the idea?  If it isn’t bad enough that he sucks at running routes, lining up properly pre-snap, not committing asinine penalties, tracking deep balls, and simply catching routine passes now he feels as though he needs to keep track of his drops.  An NFL player is tracking his drops in OTAs.  How are you even dropping balls in OTAs?  For the love of all that is holy you are wearing shorts and t-shirts and are facing next to no opposition from the defense as contact is not allowed.  At least he run blocks decently right?  Agholor is the suckiest bunch of suck that has ever sucked.  Perhaps him not starting anymore games will help to alleviate the rigid “Football Season” rules my wife has in place.  Most likely not.

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